I've been reading...The Sacred Romance....

A friend once told me…actually he's always telling me the reason I get hurt so much is because I have a huge heart. Sometimes he tells me I only think with my heart…so that got me thinking about hearts…and about what else there is. For me…life is easy…I follow my heart…sometimes my head tells me different but usually…that doesn't affect my decision. I'm a nice person…easy to get along with…why isn't everybody else? So after some reading and some searching…this is what I've come up with:

The world (parents, teachers, friends, tv, books, people we see on the street, and really anything that comes into our life) rewards us for what we do good. For example in school when we got a good grade we got a sticker. When we put out a product fast, or when we sell a lot of whatever, or when we just in general make the company money we are rewarded with a raise, or a partnership or even just a good job. But you see these are all things we are skilled in. Then what do we do????? We define ourselves and other people by what they are skilled in. What happens growing up then??? We go to college for what we are good at, which there is nothing wrong with that and please don't take me wrong. Then we get a job…and you are then known as the Sales Agent, Teacher, Pastor, Singer, Lawyer, or Store owner…that's who you become. Where is the heart in all that? It's great if you love your job…and love what you do…that's wonderful. It is great to have a passion especially in what you do. That still shouldn't define who you are.

If I asked you right now….WHO are you? Would you say….I'm Marie and I'm a sales agent or I'm (your name here) and I (do this).

Fredrick Buechner's book Telling Secrets says:

"[Our] original shimmering self gets buried so deep we hardly live out of it at all…rather, we learn to live out of all the other selves which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world's weather."


What about our fears, dreams, passions and even our deepest hurts. I guess that's what we aren't allowed to show. But hell why not? Why is it so hard for us to live our life? We are too busy offering what we can do for others…to either gain their approval or whatever. When is the last time you called a friend just to say hi? When's the last time you just sat down and wrote a thank you email to somebody who has helped you out in the past? When is the last time you actually showed somebody part of your heart without totally taking it back by a crude joke or something of that nature?


But when is the last time you emailed somebody just to ask them for something? I know I'm guilty of it…sometimes I feel like I have to email you guys with a question because otherwise I'm just being a pain. I don't want to be a pain…but I am the type of person to call and see how your day was…or to email to see what's new. I know the world isn't like that…but in this world…in the world I live in…it is. I try very hard to keep it like that. I know I've talked about living life…and the whole "heart" issue a lot in this blog. I guess it's just kind of on my mind. So some things I want to leave you with…and please feel free to comment.


From the book The Sacred Romance…it's not completely worded like it was in the book…but I thought this was great to think about:


Heartless >>> a person without compassion

Have a heart >>> that's what we tell the people above

Heartaches >>> Our deepest hurts

Broken Hearted >>> yea…we've all been there

Brave Hearted >>> People who do something we don't think we could

Black Hearted >>> not so good people

Heart of Gold >>> those saints out there

Heart to Heart >>> a deep talk

Light Hearted >>> having fun

With all my heart >>> the love we may feel for somebody

Or My heart is just not in it >>> no passion


I know you've felt something in this list…or you've described somebody with a heart of gold…or you told somebody you loved them with all your heart…or you had a heart to heart with somebody. I know you have a heart…I just don't know why you don't show it. Why are you so defined?


In the end it doesn't matter what we have…the boats, houses, computers, cars, guitars, cds, books, high paying jobs…any of that…it doesn't matter….


->You shouldn't have to offer your heart, it's yours….people can see it….if you let them…but they can't have it…they have their own.


Maybe I do think with my heart too much. Maybe people interpret it the wrong way…but…you know in your heart if you needed somebody…I would listen and I would be there for you…you know that…and you know that I will love you no matter what…but you too can be like that. Just open up a little. It does make me sad…when I am judge…and it does hurt me inside…to think that somebody would say whatever about me…but in my head I think you have no idea who I am…it's too bad….


So to go back to my original question…of who am I?


I'm Marie and I'm loving and caring and freaking fun to be around. I've also been hurt and I don't trust like I could… Who are you?